忆 ~ 最动人的声音

心情低落的晚上
非常的低落
爸爸的来电 只能故作开心
电话那头爸爸开心地说 : "我过两天要是订得到机票, 就回家了"
我难过 我开心
开心 爸爸终于可以回家准时吃晚餐 (而不是10点或11点才吃晚餐)
欣慰 爸爸终于可以好好回家和妈咪一起打理家事
难过 爸爸, baby也想回家
紧张 我害怕明天的到来
无奈之下
只好拚命找张雨生的歌来听 (没有关联 =.=''')
张雨生是我小时侯,爸爸介绍的 ^^ ♥

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥張雨生-口是心非 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

口是心非　你深情的承诺都随着西风飘渺远走
痴人梦话　我钟情的倚托就像枯萎凋零的花朵
星火燎原　我热情的眼眸曾点亮最灿烂的天空
晴天霹靂　你绝情的放手在我最需要你的時候

於是爱恨交错人消瘦　怕是怕这些苦沒來由
於是悲欢起落人靜默　等一等这些伤会自由

口是心非　你娇情的面容都烙印在心灵的角落
无话可说　我纵情的結果就像残破光禿的山头
浑然天成　我純情的悸动曾奔放最滚燙的节奏
不可收拾　你滥情的拋空所有晶瑩剔透的感受

我不愿

很多事

不在掌控中的
很多话
不在意料中的

不愿卸下武装
只因为
不愿意看到懦弱的自己


无理由的无助正吞噬着孱弱的心
无语
无理由的低落把心囚禁在那灰色地带
正因为心 渴望色彩世界的欢笑
又有谁能展露那纯真的笑容

此刻
我担心那天的到来
不愿去想 却不能不去想
不愿贬低 却不能不自卑
相信自己 却同时没信心
无奈

担心啊~~~~~~

发生很多事, reports 很多, tests 也很多, 听到的坏话也很多;
不满意的事很多, 无奈的事更多, 悲哀的事不少;
大家都在"多多多" , 我只想"躲躲躲"....=.=
躲开所有的不开心啊~~~~~

Blue day =)

♥ The day when we wear the same blue halter top to sit for Chemistry test ♥

(actually Liss wore it too, but too bad she wasn't in the photo XP)

Jenny, my dearest roommate + craziest friend + coldest Ah yee~~~

we have cold jokes for every day, every hour......
(this is proven by those lame jokes on my facebook wall =.=)

♥ we are trying to act EMO , but why so innocent-looking? ♥
LOL

Ah yee~~~l6icc
我不是你想象那么勇敢
=P
but I will keep my promise if it comes true ><

小插曲 : 荣幸地说, 我有史以来收了第一个干弟弟啊~~~虽然已经有两个欠扁的亲生弟弟,但是投缘的人很难得啊~~~~哈哈哈哈~~~
开心开心开心 =P
Wish you all the best nei~~~ =)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To all my coursemates who are going to have your interview + writing test,
GAMBATEH
♥ NAMASTE ♥

梦想起航 =)
加油啊 !!!!

Fated

15/7/2010 is my IELTS test date.

I was nervous once I opened my eyes. In order to save time, Ernest and I decided to change our plan and took a cab to IDP Centre. Throughout the journey, both of us couldn't stop laughing at the driver's joke. However, as we talked more (actually it's all crap at the beginning), both of us discovered that the driver is indeed a friendly one.

"Betul kan? I like to share my experience with you, so that you won't make the same mistake as what I did. I hate rules and regulations. Betul kah? Right ? True or not?"
Lol. Basically, I could barely remember the content of our conversation. I could only remember the part he talked about politics. It was indeed a good opportunity for both of us to know what's in other races' opinions towards certain policies. =) **Impressed**

Mentioned about education, he proudly told us that his son is currently studying in UKM, taking FORENSIC SCIENCE. (Wao~~~~) He actually decided to send his son to INTEC college as well. However, due to certain reasons, especially "cable pak cik tak cukup kuat", he failed to do so. =P
I couldn't stop giggling whenever he mentioned "cable tak cukup kuat". Hahahahahaha

Upon arriving our destination, he bid goodbye to us and said, " Hope to see you again."
I burst into laughter. LOL.....Hahahahahaha.
It was my first time to hear such words from a taxi driver.
However, I want to thank him sincerely. His humourous jokes and sharing on his experience indeed eased my anxiety away. I stepped into IDP Centre with such a joyful heart. =)

Back to the test, I was SERIOUSLY SPEECHLESS !!!!!
Actually, I planned to retake the test in Sarawak. However, I couldn't make it. After discussing with Miss Carmen, I registered in Subang on 19/6/2010. =.=!!
I prayed hard that I could do better and meet a better examiner.
When I walked into the exam room, I was so shocked!!
Yeah, I could hear "Oh Lord, you must be kidding" from my heart.

I met the same examiner for my speaking test !!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, there is nothing bad about her. It's just the matter that I got band 6 from her for previous test. >.<
Now, I meet her again. It was so...............FATED (or so-called inevitable?)...............
*sighed for thousands times*

Guys, I don't dare to imagine my new band score.
I am seriously DOWN whenever I think of this.
Questions about ANIMALS are killing me. It is true that besides those cute cute little puppies, my dearest goldfish which died few years ago and my dreamed dolphins, I seldom come across with animals!!!

Arrghhhhhh.....

Dear dolphins, can I get a better band for this speaking test? T.T

♥♥♥海豚啊~~~浪漫 + 可爱 + 情深意重 ♥♥♥

♥♥♥ Sunset + beautiful beach + dolphins = Yes, I do ♥♥♥
I am just kidding. LOL

What I can say is "NOTHING"

Stop your so-called " analysis" please.
Finally, I know who you are.
I won't go and spread to the whole world about how terrible it is.
But, what I want to say is "JUST STOP YOUR NONSENSE"

You are not my mum, neither my buddy nor my boyfriend.
You are just a NO NO NO NO for me.
So, can you please just stop?

I know I am not a girl who know appreciation, so WHAT?!
I know I am upsetting someone else, so WHAT?!
I know what is good for me, and I know who and what is suitable for me!
SO WHAT?!

*next time please don't talk nonsense in the toilet XP
it was the place where you were caught red handed !!**

A : 你要是不吃,我也不吃.然后,我会哭!

B : 家里的母鸡生了四粒蛋,本来要等孵了卖母鸡的~阿姨今天心血来潮~就用四粒蛋给你安胎吧~记得要孵出小鸡噢~
谢谢~ 不客气~再见~ 拜拜~~

OMG~~~~
In the end, we cooked the eggs~!
=.=!!!!!!






Ielts is just around the corner, while Chemistry and Physics topic tests are awaiting silently at the back. =.=!!
**Ausmat SEM 3 finally starts**

♥ 异地恋 ♥

Quoted from somewhere in facebook ^^

Feel free to click "HERE" to have a look at full text.

距离是一份考卷
测量相爱的誓言
最后会不会实现。
我们为爱还在学沟通的语言
学著谅解学著不流泪

等到我们学会飞
飞越黑夜和考验
日子就要从孤单里毕业
我们用多一点点的辛苦
来交换多一点点的幸福

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear, I know that long-distance relationship is your greatest fear.
Previous failure causes you to lose confidence in love, especially long distance one. ^^
However, I am indeed GLAD to know that you had summoned your courage to challenge it. =)
Don't ever underestimate the power of love.
Pray to Him, so that He will guide you through all the wearies.
Love has hidden power and magic that we never know. It's your sincerity and love to create the miracle.
Remember the song? When you believe........=)

Cindy is happy for you.
I am envy + jealous + .....********....
We met each other in high school. We became close friend as time passed. In form 5, thanks for you companionship throughout my hard time.
You tried your best to cheer me up, listened to my grumbles, bearing with my weeps......
I am grateful to have you as my "sister".

Dear dear darling, I know there is someone else in this world who gets the privilege to call you "DEAR~~~"
But, you are still my DEAR, no matter where I am, no matter who is the one in my heart. XP
As you know, YOU are always in my heart. Hahahahahaha.....XD
I am looking forward to meet you.
I had been waiting here for so long. =.=
When can we have girls' meeting? =P
Don't think too much, OKAY?
Cindy and our glass house designer are always here. ^^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
On the other hand, I found this photo in my laptop =.=
Sweet memories I ever had.
That was the moment when I learnt independence and maturity ^^
Sorry, VERY blur~~

永远都无法实现的梦

He asked, " Is pharmacy one of your dreams?"
My answer is, " NO. My dream is to become a DOCTOR." =.=!!
I know, I had signed my contract in which stated my major is PHARMACY, not MEDICINE.

That's my choice.
This noon, studying physics electromagnetic waves, brought to mind this quote from Reader Digest :

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
(actually, I had no idea about the relationship between this quote and physics XD)

Giving up my dream to become a doctor was the hardest decision that I ever made.
I know, my mother who brainwashed me to be outstanding since young, was indeed disappointed with my decision.
I would never forget how disappointed she was when she heard that I had actually put pharmacy as my choice in application form without her acknowledgment. ='(

"十八年来的栽培, 你就这样的回报我?那我辛苦栽培你是为了什么?
我就希望你念医科!!"

As a result, we didn't talk to each other for 2 weeks. =.=
Sorry, Mom. I know it's hard for you to accept my decision.
I myself indeed couldn't accept it.
Don't worry. I never blame you for those words.
Daddy is right. You are just having high expectation to me. So, when I went against your wish, you were so angry. XP

It is not the problem with the tough course.
I believe that I can bear with 5 years studies in university.
My mom's father had actually inspired me to think and plan for my future.
I admit that I am a sensitive girl. I drop tears for everything that I feel sorry or sad.
I feel guilty easily if the situation goes wrong and even worse if I actually can change it.

I would never forget the emotionless face of the doctor who announced my grandfather's death.
I would never forget how he said, " Sorry, kamu boleh masuk bila nurse kata boleh."
I would never forget the scene that my uncles, aunts, grandma and mom cried hopelessly in front of the doctor.
Instead of comforting them, he took over the file from the nurse, and asked, "Where is the doctor who is going to take over my shift?" =.=

Before filling the application form, I told mom about this matter.
I can't be as emotionless as that doctor if I fail to save one's life.
I can't pretend that nothing happens when the family of deceased cry hopelessly in front of me.
I will feel guilty, remorse for the entire life.
And yes, the career is a life-long journey.
Throughout the 20, 30 years of being a doctor, how am I suppose to bear with those cases that I fail to save?
Whenever I think of this, I hesitate.
Mom told me, " 做久了就会习惯了....生死有命,你不能每次都把人医好, 救活.....总有救不回的...."
=.= mummy ahh......我接受唔到咯

I still remembered when I was in primary school, I told my parents,

" I want to be a doctor, then I can take care of both of you and grandparents. I want to be a good doctor, not like those who fail to detect my grandma's heart diseases." ==

Mummy, daddy, I'm so sorry.

Mummy, 从不能接受到接受, I know you had hard time.
Sorry being 任性,我真的只想做我自己
从小,你教的, 我从不敢忘记
你要我突出,我努力考得最好
你希望我名列前茅,我做到了 (除了现在不能啊~~~~)
惟有pharmacy,对不起,你最引以为傲的女儿令你失望了
但是,妈咪,从你目前担心我的学业来看,我知道你还是接受了我是未来药剂师
哈哈哈哈哈哈
妈咪,安啦!你女儿我OKAY 的 =.=

♥ 恋 ♥

Listen to this song while writing this post ^^

Panda, share share~~ my best 姐妹

四目交接的时候 不要停留太久
适可而止的问候 关心不能太过
好奇也别去探索 妒嫉只能深锁
如果忍不住寂寞 也不能对你说


啊 好朋友  啊 我的好朋友
不小心的沉默 不想让你太难过

我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远
相信我们走到另一个境界
搭肩高唱友谊万万岁
要是我爱你变成了语言
什么会多一些 什么会少一些

就让别人去猜测 我们清白的很
就让自己去承受 那种清白的闷
就算我只是朋友 能不能有要求
如果会发生什么 也是我想太多
啊 好朋友 就只是好朋友
不小心说出口 微笑中藏着难过

我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远
你会不会也曾闪过这感觉
一念之间就要差一点
要是我爱你 变成了利剑
什么会被消灭 什么才会复原
那是我的底线 继续将你暗恋
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

Panda, thanks for spending your time to listen to my grumbles. Thanks for listening to my wearies. Thanks for giving me confidence. But, I am not as brave as you said.

I would rather I am still the one who was immune to this kind of thing. Panda, I know you are glad for my change. However, I couldn't accept it. Now, I just want to go back. Then, everything is coming to the end soon. I am in a mess right now. I know, just leave everything to god.

He will make a way for me.

K歌~泪

谎言弥漫

我努力呼吸 却被虚伪吞噬

荧幕上一行行的词与字
我看不清 摸不清

就像你 永远猜不透

< 最近 李圣杰 >
爱我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你总是抱怨这首歌不适合恋人
别忘了 它是开始

< 不流泪的机场 林俊杰 >
爱是三万里程的孤单
闪着等待的泪光
眺望可能的远方
爱是再远都在你身旁
心疼了解的目光
出门前夕,这首歌陪伴入眠
可 依然学不会

< 江南 林俊杰 >
圈圈圆圆圈圈
天天年年天天的我
深深看你的脸
生气的温柔
埋怨的温柔的脸
每次斗嘴
是这首歌让一切和好如初

< 美人鱼 林俊杰 >
只要你在我身边
所有蜚语流言
完全视而不见
请不要匆匆一面
一转身就沉入 海平线
传说中你为爱甘心被搁浅
我也可以为你潜入海里面
"你会游泳吗?不会嘛,那你怎么潜 ?"
习惯听着这首歌入眠
曾经熟悉 曾经陪你哼唱
如今我试着忘记歌词

< 对的人 戴爱玲 >
那次流过的泪　让我学习到
如何祝福　如何转身不要
在眼泪体会到　与自己拥抱
爱不是一中需要　是一种对照
我学会了
真的学会了
可是
我变得不勇敢了

**最终,泪盈满眶
服输
躲入厕所,让眼泪徐徐滑落
每首歌对我的意义.....................................
aaarrrghhhhh...DOOM !

1st day of July

I wasted it with day-dreaming in front of laptop and piles of books.
Looking at the application forms in my bag, I don't even want to have a look.
It's not the matter of "LAZINESS", but "CONFIDENCE".

Early in the morning (actually is 8 something =P), I woke up and gave mummy a call.
Trying my best to give her a summary about 6 universities, she just "Ermmm...Ok.....Ermm...Don't worry, don't panic....just go ahead"
Mummy, I am.
I am walking with such fast paces down the road which I never know where is the end.
I am stressed. I am.

I have never being so scared.
Lord, father in heaven, please guide me through the obstacles.
I believe that You have made a way for me, where there seems to be no way.
With love and strength for each new day, I know, You made a way for me.
Crossing my fingers, I pray.
I pray that You will hold my hands firmly whenever I face the difficulties.
I shouldn't be defeated. I shall be strong and tough.

Joanna, my dear, thanks for your call.
I am overjoyed and touched. =) Thanks for your wishes.
I believe that you will achieve your goal as well.

WE WILL MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE !!